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    "When we choose TRUST, ANYTHING is POSSIBLE"

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    Mindful Counselling - Transforming the Inner Reality

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Wings of Fire – Surrendering to Uncertainty

Letting go of control and surrender to life they way it unfolds in the very moment is scary. We might be afraid that we might miss something, or that we will loose preciousness of it if we simply rest in the present moment. We might expect to get into trouble if we allow our self to surrender to the state of uncertainty.

Resting within ourselves with an acceptance and state of non-doingness does not mean that we are ignorant towards life, or that we have to push away our fears when they come. Letting go of control and accepting life in the state of uncertainty is a warriors journey towards more joyful, fun and peaceful life. To perk up and lean towards our fears is a unavoidable part of the journey.

We wont be able to let go of control without a compassionate inquiry into the working of our false sense of identity. Our fears are a big part of it because our self-image which has been created over years shows itself profoundly especially during moments when we feel scared. That is the gift of fear – it shows us where we still hold on to our false sense of self. As we start questioning and look closely at what is that we are afraid off, we might be able to see the believe system that is causing the certain emotional state. There are many methods of inquiry our fears. The one which works for me well is a simple investigation into the fear, questioning it – you might ask:

What happens when I cannot handle what’s going on? What story do I tell my self? What believe do I have about my self when I am experiencing this emotion? What repels and what attracts me to this situation? Where do I look for strength and where do I place my trust?

We need to sit with it. If we do so, we will start to see clearly what is happening and we will catch the moment when we run away or do anything to get rid of uncomfortable feelings. We need to stay with the experience and acknowledge what we feel in the moment-acknowledging our cravings and resentment towards the situation is a crucial part of it. We need to look closely at the strategies we have been using to avoid what is here and see those games our mind plays out hopping to get a desirable result. Letting go of control and surrendering to the moment has always been challenging for me, and as I observed, for many of us. I was sure that I got used to a change. While constantly moving all over the world for over 8 years, I was faced with a ʻadjustmentʼ on a daily basis. Before I arrived to a destination I could already think of where will I go next. Next trip, next workshop, next adventure, new friends. I was comfortable with my aloneness, even superficially proud of my self for being so easy with it. Now I can see that moving was not a big deal as I never allowed myself to get attached to a place, things and people. Scared of separation. Until I got here. To India. I never would have imagined to feel so bonded to the land, to people, to the river, to this simple life I am living here now. Fully attached to the way those experiences make me feel, and being not comfortable with letting them go at all.

To let go of ʻwantsʼ and ʻnot-wantsʼ, ʻlikesʼ and ʻdislikesʼ and to surrender to what IS, is something that this country has very much thought me of. It is like… it makes me awaken each time I try to hold on certain result of a situation, not only making me aware of mindʼs games, but also filling me up with strength to resist the temptation pattern of manipulation, constantly reminding to stay curious with the unknown. Each time I pull back a habitual behavior of control I tear up, feeling tremendous power of my open heart. Being here reminds me to surrender and consciously keep opening-staying naked and vulnerable to everything- as it ALL comes and goes each moment.

When we have a warriors heart we accept that we can never know what will happen to us next. We can try to control life circumstances, we can keep looking for security and predictability, but the truth is that we can never avoid uncertainty. This is a part of our adventure here, on this planet. To live our life fully we have to look closely how we relate to discomfort. We experience non-acceptance of impermanence on a daily level each time we feel frustration, each moment we distract ourselves with any activity as a shield against the fundamental ambiguity of our situation. We waste tremendous energy trying to wear off impermanence and death. The truth is that in each moment we do experience life and death. Every moment comes and goes at the same time.

What do I feel inside myself when life does notgive me what I want? How do I deal with the unpredictable encounters when I do not know what is going to happen? Intense emotions show us that we are stuck somewhere. It is never our parent, the work or our partner. We need to look at the embarrassment, disappointment, irritation, fear in the very moment that they come, feeling them full in our body. We need to perk up and move towards the situation where we would rather cave in and back away. The gift of emotions is that THEY WAKE US UP. And then, even if we move away from a destructive situation, we will not be acting out form a space of fear, but a state of coherence and awareness. Solution will come naturally without trying to control the confused mind. Staying with uncertainty is how we learn to relax in the mindset of chaos, how we can be cool when the ground beneath us suddenly disappear. If we embody the skill of watchfulness and exercise our willingness to rest in the uncertainty we will bring ourselves back to life over and over again.

Another great practice I learned, is to notice your physical movement when you feeluncomfortable in any way. Notice all kind of.. Scratching even if it does not itch. Be aware of the way you move your body for no reason at all. Just to do something not to feel ache-an emotional ache.

Or, see those moments where you reach for an entertainment. Look closely at avoidance of slight edge of boredom coming to you and stay present where the is no stimulation form the outside-not to immediately filling up space just because there is a gap. Or when you porously drunk yourself with being busy to avoid situations which may make you feel vulnerable.

Practicing above might seem trivial, but even such a simple thing as observing the moment of scratching our head when it does not itch will change our mind set. It might take us deeper into the understanding when we habitually/impulsively act out and help us to catch the gap in between. We might start to give up the entertainment mentality and see that there is something between the arising of the craving – aggression or loneliness – and the action we take as a result. There might be something in this gap which we do need to experience, and we will never be able to experience it if we are so quick to act. This practice aims to get us in touch with this moment of loosing ground under our feet, by noticing how we try to avoid it. We need to look at how we recreate ourselves when things are falling apart and how quickly then we return to the solid ground of our self-concept. When we become aware of it, we can use it as an opportunity to stay open until clearly see what happened and be curious about what might happen next.

When we have a hard time to accept what is happening now, we might start to look at feelings that are present in our body and the story we attach to them. Stories intensify our emotions and a big step on our journey is to see that they do not live anywhere else besides our head. The story we choose to tell ourselves, about our self, dictate how we see ourselves and what we are capable of. To get the fire wings back we need to let go of our human drama and the stories that have ruined our life. We all have limitations, challenges, fears, and insecurities, but if we let them to define how we see ourselves, we will stay trapped in those patterns that are deeply imprinted in our subconscious mind, and watch hopelessly as they take over our actions and chooses.

By letting go of the story and giving presence to what we feel, we might be able to turn our emotions into compassion for ourselves and others. Every time we move into an experience, weather is opening to love and compassion, or closing down – experiencing resentment and separation, we do open ourselves to freedom, being aware that nothing is solid. Connection to any experience by fully meeting it always feels good. As opposed to moving away or habitually trying to stick to security by fantasizing ourselves out of it, or by giving in to our addictive patterns of distraction. Being on the spot is better then avoiding, even if it hurts.

Everything we do in out life has a potential to wake us up or to put us to sleep, allowing it to awaken us is up to us. Stepping into unknown and not giving in to false sense of security is the ultimate freedom. Staying open, even if that might be shaky at the beginning, will carry us to the liberated state of mind. We need to remind ourselves over and over again: to stay open, no matter what. Letting go of our false sense of identity- of the idea of who we are, who others are, how important we are in the world, how we should be and what we should have- will remind us to not to take life to seriously, but with a sense of humor and playfulness. We will relax knowing that we do not have to always figured everything out, even fully dropping the new age idea of finding out: who we really are, or who everyone else is on that matter.

Practice of meditation and watchfulness supports us by creating more and more space for our emotions and thoughts, and rather then trying to push them away, or get obsessed with them, we see them, acknowledge them and let them go. After a while we will have a different relationship with hope and fear. We do drop hope and we drop hopelessness. Relaxing and living in the freshness of the present moment.

When we rest within the unknown, we connect with an enhance and exciting life force which leads us back to our power and guide us home to our authentic nature.

Embodying this experience will allow you to be and own all of who you are, without mask and excuses. You will get back your wings of fire – a truth, authentic expression of your self. Letting go desired outcome of your actions will allow you to show yourself completely each moment – being free to be vurnerable and free to be bold. Feeing filed up with strength, clarity and confidence, ready to re-attune with others playfully and powerful warriors out there. To get back our fire wings we need to let go of our oxygen mask of so carefully built self-image and trust that there will be air to breath in the hear-now. Then, we can make empowering choices and be able to distinguish whether our decisions are coming from fear and insecurity or operate for a coherent part of our self.

We must give it all up and allow a new story to emerge. A story of a warrior who has been living a life of an adventure that hi is proud of. Warrior of love and service who comes closer and closer to his nature each moment. Your vision will expand as you will notice that you are here not to fulfil your human needs only, nor to make the outer world happy – however you might choose to contribute to it – and certainly, as we all tend to – spending our life chasing love, approval and attention.

 

What will happen if we give it all up? Once we do it we will discover the endless well of courage that has always been there, nourishing and feeding our life. Let us see YOU and let as all be changed by the power of YOUR presence, confidence and strength.

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